My Lifelong Obsession With Pokémon Has Thrown Me Into Existential Despair

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Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire are delightfully familiar. Not just because they’re great games, but because they STILL don’t address a million basic questions, like why nobody ever poops.

Courtesy Nintendo

Courtesy Nintendo

What self-respecting parent lets their 12-year-old take off around the world just because their weirdo new neighbor needs some help with a research project?

For that matter, what PhD program allows its graduates to primarily rely on the labor of tweens?

Do my Pokémon know that I named them all after Gilmore Girls characters and fast-food restaurants?

If so, do they care?


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